Child-free couple seek advice on how to deal with ‘tornado of questions’ about when they will have a baby

SINGAPORE: In many families, questions from relatives go from “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend already?” and “When are you getting married?” to “When are you having children?”

In today’s world, while choosing to go child-free is increasingly common, couples are still likely to be asked when they will have a baby. Exasperated, one couple is seeking advice online on how to deal with this question.

“Childfree couples of Singapore, How do you deal with the tornado of questions over and over?” asked u/Defiant_Mixture_6923 on Wednesday (May 3) on r/askSingapore.

“I (28)F and my partner (30)M decided that we will not be having children. I love my nieces to death, babies are adorable… to look at. but it just isn’t the life i ever thought I will choose to have. being a mum is not ever in my dictionary,” she wrote.

“I am getting quite annoyed with the typical questions like ‘oh it isn’t the right time yet’ ‘you will be missing out so much’ ‘people who want children and cant even have them’ ‘you are going to be old one day and be alone,” and therefore asked couples in the same situation, “what is your journey like and how does your life look like now that you’re older. Any thoughts, advice, words to share?”

As the following comments show, many have deflected the annoying question with humour.

“It’s 2023, anyone who is having a child just because others are, really needs to go outside and touch some grass,” wrote one Reddit user.

One had more straightforward advice:

Say it in this order:

  1. We decided to not have children.
  2. We decided to keep the reasons to ourselves.
  3. I will not have this conversation again.
  4. How have you been lately?


Netizen asks ‘is it true that kids are harder to take care nowadays compared to gen x/y when they were kids?’

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